Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Caveman Dialogue

“Son, we have to talk.”

“About what Dad?”

“You’re growing up and things are happening so fast. It’s a confusing time for a boy your age.”

“Are you talking about hunting, because I’m not confused at all.”

“It’s hunting of a different kind, son. I see you’ve been noticing Urga.”


“There comes a time in a man’s life when he must create a family. The feeling you’re experiencing is natural. What I’m trying to say is, just be careful when you go out in the world to club women over the head to bring back to the cave.”

“Dad, it’s alright. I don’t have to do that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re right, I have noticed Urga, and she’s noticed me too. I can pick her some flowers and she come to the cave with me. No club.”

“I remember being that age and having crazy ideas before.”

“But it’s not...”

“Listen to me, son. This is the way every man meets his wife. Do you think I gallybandered around to meet your mother? No! I stalked her for weeks. She was a wily one back then, always one step ahead on my traps, smelling me waiting in the trees. It wasn’t until I couldn’t take another day without her did I succeed. Covering myself in mud and waiting two full days in the grass. All kinds of nasty bugs crawling over me. And when she least suspected it... I slammed her over the head with my club and dragged her back to the cave. Now look at us, happily married for fifteen years.
They call it dating for a reason.”

“Ok Dad, I guess you have a point.”